HarperCollins, December 2009
On a rainy afternoon while riding a crosstown bus, Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany. Despite her full life in New York, complete with loving husband, two healthy daughters and fulfilling work in her chosen career as a writer, despite not only having her needs but many of her wishes and desires met, she was suffering from a mid-life malaise. Like many of us, Rubin felt her days slipping by unappreciated as she succumbed too easily to petty annoyance, dejection, and melancholy. In pinpointing her dillema, Rubin cites the writer Colette: "What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner."
Realizing that she ought to be happy was one thing; enjoying daily happiness in the life she led was another thing altogether. Rubin set out to tackle this problem through the application of a year-long happiness project, which became the basis for her blog, www.happiness-project.com, and subsequently, this book.
On a rainy afternoon while riding a crosstown bus, Gretchen Rubin had an epiphany. Despite her full life in New York, complete with loving husband, two healthy daughters and fulfilling work in her chosen career as a writer, despite not only having her needs but many of her wishes and desires met, she was suffering from a mid-life malaise. Like many of us, Rubin felt her days slipping by unappreciated as she succumbed too easily to petty annoyance, dejection, and melancholy. In pinpointing her dillema, Rubin cites the writer Colette: "What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner."
Realizing that she ought to be happy was one thing; enjoying daily happiness in the life she led was another thing altogether. Rubin set out to tackle this problem through the application of a year-long happiness project, which became the basis for her blog, www.happiness-project.com, and subsequently, this book.
Before embarking on her journey, Rubin read stacks of books on the topic of happiness by authors ranging from Adam Smith to Malcolm Gladwell to the Dalai Lama. Thus informed, she began her project by following the examples of many of these individuals, including Benjamin Franklin who, in attempting to to cultivate the virtues he wished to uphold, constructed a written chart against which he could measure his progress on a daily basis. Rubin created such a chart of her own, populated with concrete and measurable happiness resolutions. She organized her resolutions into themes such as leisure, friendship, money, mindfulness - twelve of them, so that she could spend a month tackling each theme during the course of her happiness project year. Thus equipped, Rubin set out to get happy.
Gretchen Rubin's experiment is eclectic and illuminating. As she makes clear from the start, each person's happiness project is inherently unique. However, she adheres to hers so methodically and documents it so meticulously, that there is much that we can all take away from her journey.
Gretchen Rubin's experiment is eclectic and illuminating. As she makes clear from the start, each person's happiness project is inherently unique. However, she adheres to hers so methodically and documents it so meticulously, that there is much that we can all take away from her journey.
For instance, her focus for the month of January was on increasing her vitality, and she discusses much of what you might expect - more sleep, better exercise - but I most enjoyed her brief passage on reducing household clutter, an aspect of her life she found particularly draining. There, Rubin identifies various types of clutter - nostalgic clutter is that which arises from hanging on to uneccesary keepsakes, whereas conservation clutter is the keeping of things that might come in handy some day. Aspirational clutter? The exercise bike that's been gathering dust in the bedroom. Such divisions may merely seem cute, but they can help in perhaps better identifying and letting go of some of the material baggage that weighs all of us down.
During the course of The Happiness Project, Rubin calls our attention to various fallacies and truths. "Unconscious overclaiming," for instance, "is the phenomenon in which we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other people (It's related to the Garrison Keillor-named 'Lake Wobegon fallacy,' which describes the fact that we all fancy ourselves to be above average.)"
Other fallacies include the "arrival fallacy," the common belief that reaching a certain goal or destination will make us happier. Conversely, she unearths happiness truths, like the fact that shared interests between people help to form lasting relationships. This seems obvious, but did you know that each such common interest boosts an individual's life satisfaction by two percent? Neither did I.
During the course of The Happiness Project, Rubin calls our attention to various fallacies and truths. "Unconscious overclaiming," for instance, "is the phenomenon in which we unconsciously overestimate our contributions or skills relative to other people (It's related to the Garrison Keillor-named 'Lake Wobegon fallacy,' which describes the fact that we all fancy ourselves to be above average.)"
Other fallacies include the "arrival fallacy," the common belief that reaching a certain goal or destination will make us happier. Conversely, she unearths happiness truths, like the fact that shared interests between people help to form lasting relationships. This seems obvious, but did you know that each such common interest boosts an individual's life satisfaction by two percent? Neither did I.
April is perhaps my favorite chapter in The Happiness Project, because it is where Rubin turns her attention to parenthood, reminding herself to lighten up at home. She begins this chapter by admitting that while children are great sources of joy in a parent's life, they can also be "a tremendous source of worry, irritation, expense, inconvenience, and lost sleep." Becoming more light-hearted, appreciating the good fortune of a healthy family, and halting quick bursts of temper are as much my goals as they are hers, and I'd recommend any parent read the book for this chapter alone.
The Happiness Project is chock-full of information and good suggestions for most anyone. Rubin doesn't pretend to preach to any of us on the subject of happiness. She fully admits her faults, foibles, and failures when they occur. Ultimately, she decides that her boost in happiness during the course of the year has little to do with adherence to any one resolution and everything to do with the creation and use of her resolution chart, the constant review of which keeps the desired behaviors in the forefront of her attention. According to one study that Rubin cites during the course of the book, happiness is 50 percent genetic anyway, another 10-20 percent resulting from circumstances. This means that the remaining 30-40 percent is yours to maximize. Reading The Happiness Project is a great start.
The Happiness Project is chock-full of information and good suggestions for most anyone. Rubin doesn't pretend to preach to any of us on the subject of happiness. She fully admits her faults, foibles, and failures when they occur. Ultimately, she decides that her boost in happiness during the course of the year has little to do with adherence to any one resolution and everything to do with the creation and use of her resolution chart, the constant review of which keeps the desired behaviors in the forefront of her attention. According to one study that Rubin cites during the course of the book, happiness is 50 percent genetic anyway, another 10-20 percent resulting from circumstances. This means that the remaining 30-40 percent is yours to maximize. Reading The Happiness Project is a great start.
